me= universal?

i make myself laugh at times
when i thought i was lesbo, i really went all the way, haha!
books, videos, community searches
and now…haha
i just want to be around great people

how blind i am to think that i am the only one loving new york!
or the first to ever to have felt exiled/alienated or embraced…
to be comforted by the thought that everyone feels the same way…
really there is nothing special about me, there have been others like me, there are others like me, there will be more…
i still love new york..
i wonder if this could be my home…
new york and durban…and maybe venda too?

do not begin the day with checking emails
i am now a hermit
a prisoner in my own room
it’s not a good idea
esspecially in america

i have been wondering whether my white friends are spies…

have i closed up?
i find that my circle is a bit small
i must stretch out

i did not go to the singles party
the thought of it made me rather depressed
so i had fun in my world
the art world, went to some opening
then to an after party of another
i met a terrible artist and some other cool ones
so no love lost, just love grown
debating about what to do now…(studio)
bumped into mumu too

oh there is no water in our apt
so i feel kinda white-the idea of not bathing
alot of whites don’t like to bath…it is disturbing

i woke up this morning on my white cotton sheets after a rather heavy nightmare
i was surrounded by an endless see/sea of white
michael jackson and his white kids with blonde hair
my gawd it freaks me out-
i cannot recall the nightmare fully in detail, but they were all over it
them and their chalk white klu klux klan faces
the man really hated himself ne?
i dunno whether to have pity on him or hate him
the news is all aflood with news about his death/his life and whatever
no doubt he was one hell of an artist
an illusionist, a great liar, a magician of song etc.
and all that he has done to himself is absolutely crazy
it is painful to think about him
what a shame
shame, what a racist
this whole sory gives new light on fanon’s black skins,white masks
5 more mins then i officially have to wake up
my alarm bell will sound off