halloween party for the art school yesterday -last night.
met a pretty face boy.too bad he is married!!!what the-?!everyone is married!!
i realise once again, i do not much enjoy working for/with other people
i am a self centered person, zu was so right about that!
Wow.so I kinda know a lot of people in the world.i always get surprised.
When I was 15 I started meeting more people.
I used to write the names of everyone I met on a list in my diary.
By the end of the year, I had met over 100 people.
My birthday was great.
Jo came through, she helped me a great deal w preparing for stuff, AND hill too.
Hill.hill.hill
I am on the train as I write this.
A train from boston to ny,
The land of America is so increadibly beautiful!
It is autumn, and the leaves are various tones of gold, red and browns and greens,
The sky is a beautiful blue that sets alight the colours of the trees.
And there are patches of water everywhere, marshlands….lakes,rivers,….
The air is crisp in the country side
And in these small ‘towns’ they have lil boats,looks just like it does in the movies!
The houses, the flags,,the buildings,the fences, the boats,the old factory spaces,it is amazing, it is like walking through endless movie sets.
So familiar,yet very unfamiliar-
Oh I should be doing my homework, but I am distracted by th e beautiful landscape
I wonder how Americans think about it-
How they think about the fictional stories that look soooo real.
The houses have stories!!from dawsons creek or some other series…the rivers..i imagine the run-away slaves creeping through the marshes…
The American Indians going through the land…beloved…
Their ayes were watching god,
It is amazing!really,
If Europe is like a museum,this is lke a tv set.
I wonder how asia is….
And how Africa looks from a foreigner’s eyes.
And how south Africa looks…
Apparently when I did the performance I looked calm,
But I had a storm inside!
I can imagine what is happening behind each door!!!
I am so thirsty I forgot to buy water…and tissues.
Oh there was a beautiful girl yesterday at my performance,
She as soo cute.
Jo says that she was a bit masculine…
I didn’t find her so…
Well she was studdish I guess, in a really soft way
I forgot her name
I wished afterwards that she had come for dinner w the group.
She was rather hot.
She has been on my mind for the past 2 hours
I hugged her goodbye,and she smiled afterwards
I suspect that my friend has a lot of turbulence in her.
She has opened up alot.
but she is still holding something back.
I forgot to tell her how beautiful she is!
I told her how humble and kind she has always been, and generous and patient too.
She made me laugh when she told me that she didn’t consider herself to be sentimental.
Haha, that is rather funny, I dunno why exactly.i will write her a long letter.
i am rather loved
it is a great feeling to receive so many bday wishes
i believe that ll of them wishes now really collectively gather to help make manifest all my best wishes.
soup cooked til it was raw.
i want to be a perfect person.
i am tired of talking, but i want to speak more.
hahaha.
what to say…
gonna go home and do some reading…
special cases…
my hands are looking beter,
and i am about to do something very fresh…
obama is amazing!
so amazing!
i wanted to jump inside the tv and eish,i dunno!
clap!and bang the floor, touch the ceiling, and pierce it with my laughter
he is amazing, so sharp and witty!!!and eish..i will have to buy more obama badges!!
anyways, i have just arrived at my hotel room
my temporary home for the next 3 days…
i am getting to know hotels very well!
and i am always happy when the beds are very very cosy,
i am in massachussettes baby
i will perform on saturday-yay!!!
i am excited!!i hope it all goes well…
it is my birthday too
ooh i have a huge crush on a boy called bob
my gawd, seing him just made my day!
i could not stop giggling
i hope he is straight!
he is just sooo hot, and cute, his lips..mmm
i was-still am, having all sorts of fantasies
mmm
yay!i have finally picked up from where i left off- with some video editing….
yay!!it had been a while…
i don’t know what i am doing yet…
but it will come!
i had a video tutorial today!it was great!!i learnt some new tricks to make editing easier,
some stuff i have forgotten already, but the most important i remember`!!!!
yay!!!
tommorow i will go check out “ballast”
i am really excited…
and next week i go to boston baby….
i went for an hiv test the other day
why is it always soooo traumatic?
sex in the days of aids is crazy ne’.
how is it possible to think of having a baby?
i get scared that the doctors might inject me
w the virus whenever i go for a test>paranoia!
anyways..i have no sexual diseases.
i still have the allergies on my hands though…urgh.
it looks as though i am underwater and oxygen bubbles are attaching themselves to my body..
esspecially when looking at my hands from the light of the computer…
i am looking foward to having my hands back!!
and my feet too!!
and to moving, hopefully i will move to a new apt next week
the vibes in the shared apt are wackness.
anyways, i will go print out some freud now, and head home…
i will bed freud tonight> >>>>
i got very lost in the city over the weekend
i spent hours just walking -
looking for a bus stop
looking for the opportunity to view the city from a different height
the bus was great.
i actually prefer it to the subway
it is good to see the the road above…
my music was very quiet
then i heard that disree song…you gotta be…
and i made up my mind
i will stop taking the photo course w the racist teacher
because do not think i can earn much from him-
we are fundamentally different
i am reading a text about how phantoms…demons … the subconscious of someone else can transcend their space into that of another person….
and how one inherits demons from one’s forefarthers…
like how racism is weened from mother to child…
i really believe that now…
but it is wierd this thing aout racism, anti semitism, homophobia etc.
it just does not make sense!
you could almost laugh!!!but it is not funny!!!
it is just bizzare!
anyways, a friend of mine said something very anti semetic the other day-
i was so buffled, i did not respond directly to her statement…
how do you deal with another person being prejudice about another group of people?
i could hear hate in her voice, i thought about it this morning whilst i was in the bus
(over land).it disturbed me.
how is it really possible to be that racist?how wierd.
i don’t know what to say to her.
i guess the best thing would be to tell her what i think, although it will be an akward conversation.
will you be an audience to that?
anyways, i spent some good time with les and gab, it was great seing them both,esp les because i had not seen her in like 3 years!!
imagine!so that was great!she is really something.
i looked at him straight in the eye, and saw that he was a nothing
he lacked (what i have).
and he felt empty.
there is no reason for me to be in his class anymore
i can make the book on my own.
i will.
i will see the perfect images.
i
we are almost 3 years old…
wow!!
i wont feel sorry for you
you chose to be in this situation
and you should be used to it by now right?
being the only black person in the group
you should be used to experiencing ‘those’ attitudes-
how come they are still shocking when they happen though?
and you know that no one else in the class,
yes ‘they’…those people…them
they would percieve them as such…
why are you still shocked?
how come you don’t have a hot hand ready
or some equally slicing comment that will chop the idiot’s punny dick off
and why do i remain in the classroom exactly?
because i want to learn how to make a book?
why do i remain there?
…
rehearse.
rehearse?
imagine him dead.
rehearse.
close your eyes and focus.
open and see.
juicy story regarding my lecturers!aaaargh!!!
but dukes…please change the name of my ‘blog’
i can’t write!!!
i have had people who i ‘work with’ talk about my ‘blog’
(a young curator was telling me that her friend loves my blog-aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!)
nice compliment…
but
i don’t want it to be in the same conversation as my work!
or else i wont be free to write what i like
i will edit myself too much
as i have been lately
and i love gusto
rather than blogspot or whatever else…
but i can not write like this.
help!!
because i wanna write about the juicy hot sexy story i just heard!
and also about my new crushes!
anywayssss.i have a class paper to write…one page.
but it still needs to be written.