me= universal?

yey
great things are happenning so fast!
1st my emotional freedom…
and all these other things have been happening!!!
lookin foward to more sales baby…
it’s coming….
the gods have been kind and generous!

what you feel is what you are…and what you are is beautiful…
haha…wanna get married…hey!and i’ll do anything…blah blah
oh just slide into my room!lets run away!!!aaaaaargh!!!
oh man!where are you?!hahaha!
i am haunted by this song you know?!
could you whisper in my ear…the things you wanna feel…
i wanna wake up where you are…aaaaaauuuwwwwrrrrrr!!!
tickle me all inside
what a silly day today
admin and a meeting
oh did some reading…
i have a meeting tommorow
spent time with gorgeous yesterday
he inspired me so much!
i have plans!!
ooh-hhooooo!!
goo goo dolls are soooo lovely!
i had such fun in jozi at their concert
i was dancing like mad
i met my twin
(i know it!)
(i can feel it)
aaah!
maaaaaaaan
beautiful as hell!
i should play lenny, i wonder if i’ll ever see you again..
where have you been all this time?
i know…you were hiding in your room listening to all the same songs i was listenning to
except you played rugby didn’t you?
what was your sister schools name?
would you wear your furry suit for me?

(now imagine these sounds underwater)
(imagine there is an echo after each one…a 2 seconds delay)
(electric blue…)

zap zap
tap clap
frap
pan pank kank
klank
you wanker!
hahaha!
smile again!
(repeat over and over again…)
(faster and faster)
(smile in between)
(the sounds are in shinny metalic silver)
(thin like tinsel)
(they spread thinly in your ears)
(they may dissappear from your memory)
(but the enamel remains…can you see it?)

you put a smile through my window!!!
i felt this crisp charged air walk into my lounge
i turned
and right there at the window
behind the glass screen,sat you
with your wide happy dog grin
i could not help but smile and
and crack the window open
just so that that smile could sit on my couch
i gave you a green bowl filled with lemon mirangues
i saw butterflies float on your head
but i know your smile is tres electric
super voltage
i can see sparks from where i sit
super bling
super crisp
i saw the way that cigarette burnt fast in your mouth
hanging from your glossed lips
(the light flirts with you)

oh what a lovely day!
my friend q just gave me a call now,
she went to do her hair in the black a’dam neighbourhood
and one of the gay hairdressers there spotted her!
wel what i mean is that he asked her if she was lesbian!!
aaaaargh!!!!how awesome!
he said he could tell from her mannerisms!!
wow!cool hey!
that is exactly how i felt when that girl in r’dam was
like flirting so openly w me!
how could she see?
i was in a dress!!aaaargh!!yey!
i am giving the vibe!!
okay maybe i know why that gi is so into the other woman,
because she is trying to emmulate the mannerisms
to be spotted
to be ‘tutored’
about how to be…
anet used to idolise virginia too when we at school
and it is because of that somehow too
and virginia wanted to ‘nurture’ her
hahahah!that is my theory for the day!
well i use to idolise raffy when i was in highschool
she had acted as maria in the sound of music production at school
oh she was fantastic…do a dear…a female dear…
my gawd!
i wonder where she is now!
i was in std6 she was in grade 12-
aaaargh!!and she knew my name!(back then i dunno wether she would remember me though…!)
anyways,
i had a fantastic tutorial about champagne from this guy in a wine shop
he was so poetic!
do not be fooled by the label!
it is al in the year
and the quality of champagne/ proseco/sparkling wine
is determined by the softness of the bubbles
the soft bubbles should still be vivid!
aaah!
he was gorgeous!
so according to his theory…
if a sparkling wine has too many crazy bubbles!
too much frivolity,then it is not good quality..
or not the best
and what makes champagne special is that it is only made from chardonnay grapes-
which is the best race of grapes
even grapes are classified by races!imagine!
well i think i am a chardonnay…
my lovely lips…nose, hair, skin tone(aah but my skin tone is nothin special,it is just normal)
anyways
i am so happy w my drawings!!!!
i feel as though a load has been taken off me
aaaah!
lovely day, now i await for the interview which should happen somewhere between now(6pm)and 1am.
stay fresh
stay focused!
i wonder who will interview me!!
aaaaaa!!!
oh my friend bett last night said something very interesting
i was speaking aout the whole zoo thing,
and she was like well next time don’t give so much of yourself, be more careful…
but then i was like no, i do not like that idea, of being stingey w myself/regarding giving myself
then she was like then-you should not regret it then, take it as part of the process!
yes!i agree.
i love for people to be wide open w their souls to me
so i will continue to be open to recieve,to give
i have no regrets
non of “i should have done this or that”
nah!non.
this life is one hell of an adventure
what a time i have!
what adventures i experience.
i was reading somewhere that an artist needs to learn to recieve
to open their senses
and make them unbelievably sharp
listen to the rhythms of monotony,vitality,adventure etc. all these adjectives…
i am excited and ready for my next adventure…
did i tell you i have been nominated for some art award?
so more and more adventures are in my tune
and i beter get together a hot soundtrack to keep me company along the way!
will have dinner with handsomejabs tonight
kisses to you dear virtual person!

i am bigger than any obstacles that i may come across
my dreams are much bigger than any obstacles that come in my way
i am free
and ofcourse i have been listenning to mika
“my dreams are bigger than yours…”
aah

I sit and think about the day that you’re gonna die,
‘Cause your wrinkled eyes betrayed the joy with which you smiled.
Care to see my reason?
Care to put your life in mine?
Looking at life from the perspective of a boy
Who’s learnt to love you but has also learned to grow.
Could we make it better, stormy weather?
So I dunno.

Oh, oh, oh - Is there anybody home?
Who will believe me, won’t deceive me, who’ll try to teach me?
Ah, ah, ah - Is there anybody home?
Who wants to have me, just to love me?
Stuck in the middle.

I look at you,
You look at me,
We bite each other.
And with your bitter words you kick me in the gutter.
But my troops(dreams) are bigger than yours
‘Cause you’ll never stand my fight.

i love this dude!
damn
aaah.
my drawings are going well
will just be abit more busy in the comin days
posting,editing,admin,post office
i am worried that some of my applications
may have been lost in the mail(postal)
damn

wish me luck
my uni interview happens today….
i am ready!

it is dissolving
i can feel it is really over
i will become untangled soon
there will be no hunger
no feed from it is possible
life goes on
i tried to numb it
to dumb it down
but i hit a flood of tears
i found her naked on the studio floor
shacking from the agony
in the madness of a tear storm
and after the madness
mourning the finality of death
fighting her eyes
an abstract pain
it is final
it is over
she is dead
was perhaps abducted by aliens who had tortured her-
somewhere between post bubble phase and newyears
she had spoken w vengence in her mouth
and i guess the mourns that….
and peanut butter
did i tel you?
i dreamt someone tried to kiss me after having eaten peanut butter
the scarriest dream…
the dessert in your mouth thereafter…
a forest of lies in your mouth
goodbye everybody
the days and nights are getting shorter
my windows are clean

okayyyyyyyyy
the wierdest night yet hey!
this morning i had a meeting w an art collector,
a barker heains kinda cat,
old white and wel beter than barker in his body fitness
a power type
yes how rather funny,
from a super lesbo to an almost ideal image of a sugar daddy…
haha,yes and no…
so he came and he saw my drawing of the best b-j certificate
(yes i am a rather artfull lover)
anyways,he i think may have gotten a little bit excited by that and my very sensual work laced w many sexual inuendos,
so he called me later
oh he is kind of sexy..grrrrr
and he calls me later,
invites me to have dinner and champagne w him at this very arty hotel
great hotel,
great room!
nice alcove by the bed
dinner was okay-french(i guess good for what it is…)
hmmm, but he was really interested in this idea of me performing the best bj
and he asked me a question:how do you think you will make it in the art world
interesting question:…..!
and the answer is “because i am brilliant.
my work is great.i am becoming a better artist everyday…!idon’t need to sleep w curators to get into shows
or w collectors to get into collections”
(i would sleep w them solely if there is an unbearable desire)
so i had to leave him standing…
pity about the accident!hahaha!
i have a cut on my lip, so no kisses eithaaaarh…
hmmm.sigh.
did i tell you my tooth is chipped?
my teeth chipped.
my smile has changed too.
more chinny…chin orientated.
i went to a great party last night.
it felt so cool being there.
like we were makin an important event for some reason…
interesting indeed.
but i spoke too much, my jaw got sore.
i met a french girl,
very nice.
mmmm and some japanesse guy-eeeeiiiiiish!
yo the brova is steaming!
i will make sure we meet again….
well,it will be interesting to see if he buys any of my work….
but hey…apperently another piece has been sold!
yey!
my 3rd/4th european sale..?
but it was nice to be lusted after i guess…by such a character…hmmm(question)i am somewhat desireable…..
i somehoe started to question it after zu accident
i wrote a long entry yesterday…but bad internet connection…so i lost the page..
and hours worth of writting…
anyways,
i am at home now
i watched the sinful nuns of st valentines earlier, italian film from the 60/70’s i guess..
interesting.
now i will watch one film about new york drag queens…!
hahaha, i wonder if there are any drag queens who dress like nuns.
i am lookin for a bear outfit.
what i want will come in a better package.
with better …the best benefits…
special day*

it is funny how one gets used to certain things
that it perhaps for a generation that knows of no other alternative of the view that they have…that will be normal.
so much so that that sense of normality will be protected to its ends
if one knows of no other alternative-
it will be the new truth

am i being silly to not go to the hospital?